Arizona Sports own Bickley and Marotta tweeted out a question that really gets the juices flowing.
Valley sports fans – What is your biggest sports bar pet peeve?
— Bickley&Marotta (@Bickley_Marotta) August 3, 2017
I am sure all sports fans can answer this question because there are many things about a sports bar that can turn a nice Saturday afternoon with your friends into just a terrible time.
Here are some of my pet peeves when I go to watch a game at a sports bar.
1. Waiting For Your Drink
It’s Saturday, it has also been the first time you have put pants on for a Saturday afternoon in months. You and your friends decide you are going to meet up and go to your local sports bar and watch the game together. You are all excited, you have your favorite shirt on and maybe you and your friends haven’t hung out in a few weeks.
You get to the bar about 30-45 minutes prior to the start of the game. When you go to watch a game at a sports bar you need to give yourself time to get settled in. You don’t want to be rushing in right at kick off and scramble for a table while the game is going on.
So you get there with plenty of time to spare, and lets not forget this big factor. It is Saturday, and Saturdays are for the boys so you NEED that first beer. That first beer is the equivalent of a football player buckling his chin strap before he heads on to the field. Just like how that player doesn’t know how these next three hours are going to go, you don’t know as well but you know you need that beer to find out.
One problem, the waitress or waiter (its 2017 let’s be equal here) is taking their sweet time getting your drink order. It’s not hard you are serving a table with 4-6 guys, odds are they are going to be ordering Coors Light anyway. It’s not like you are waiting on a table with sorority chicks that want their gluten-free strawberry daiquiri, sugar-free margaritas, and vodka sodas with 2 ice cubes but with half a lime and half a lemon. Oh and while they are taking this order 2 girls can’t decide what they want. My point is, it isn’t hard!
We came to your establishment early for a reason, we wanted to get our drink and food orders in and now it is kick off and our table is empty. It is too late to go to another bar because the game is about to start.
It’s a sports bar, sport and alcohol go together like peanut butter and jelly. This is America guys just want their alcohol.
2. Bartender Doesn’t know the Channel
Listen, you work at a sports bar. A SPORTS bar! It should be a requirement that you know the channels by heart, you should know what game is on what channel. If I roll in on a Thursday in February and I ask to turn it on the NBA game don’t turn the TV on CBS! Everyone knows that on Thursday TNT has the game of the week.
If I ask to turn on the game and I say it’s on ABC don’t ask me what channel its on. You work here and you should know the cable channels. As a fan I am going through a lot at this moment. I am worried about how my team’s Defense is going to hold up, how my fantasy lineup will do this week, or how I am going to pay my bills if my team doesn’t cover, the last thing I need to worry about is trying to help you find ABC.
To work at a sports bar you should have to take a test about the TV channels. In my opinion you should know which games are on which channels to begin with, but some would say those are unreasonable expectations.
Same scenario as above, you give yourself plenty of time to get settled in so you can see kickoff and now the bartender doesn’t know the channel. Instead of watching your team go down and score for a crucial opening drive touchdown, you are now channel surfing with the hot bartender who recently became a lot less attractive.
I have been on the side of obnoxious fans at sports bar and I regret it everyday. It is a burden I will have to live with for the rest of my life and it is something I don’t think I will truly get over. Everyone hates the obnoxious fan.
Yeah, get up and cheer when your team scores or makes a great play, maybe even high-five the guy next to you. I am not here to say you can’t have a good time, I want you to have a good time because that is the whole point of going to the bar.
The problem is there is always one guy who wants to be a jack ass. He wants to cheer after every play, yell at the TV because of a bad call, he takes harmless trash talking to a whole other level, and he may even try to fight you.
One guy at a bar can ruin your whole afternoon, all you wanted to do was go and sling a few back with your friends and now you got this jackass trying to talk non stop shit to you because you are wearing a different colored t-shirt than he is.
Don’t be that guy, just chill and just because you see a Browns fan doesn’t mean you have to make the same old original joke you heard in elementary school. Because, odds are he has probably heard it before.
4. Stupid Fans
Maybe it is just me, but I can not stand sitting next to someone who just has no idea what he is talking about.
Sitting near the guy who thinks he is smarter than the coach, or the guy spitting out stupid hot takes faster than Skip Bayless can put a damper on your afternoon.
I once sat near a guy for a Browns game at Buffalo Wild Wings, and he would not stop saying how the Browns need to put Johnny Manziel in.
The Browns at the time were in playoff contention, but started being the Browns again at the end of the season. It was a game against Buffalo and the Browns looked terrible and Brian Hoyers magic had run out.
Well this jackass thought that Johnny Manziel was going to lead us into the playoffs and he was yelling at the TV to put Johnny in. His girlfriend was so embarrassed and she should be, it must suck to have a boyfriend so fucking stupid to think that jackass could lead the Browns to the playoffs.
Anyways, for the first time in my life I didn’t want the Browns to score and I wanted that fucking idiot to look like a fucking idiot. Of course the Browns go right down and score and makes this guy look like a genius.
My point is fuck that guy and fuck the idiot at the bar who thinks he is smarter than the coach. Remember, while you are slinging back Bud Lights for the fifth day in a row that guy actually sees the team play everyday.
5. Paying the Bill
This is the worst, because your original plan was to only stay for the afternoon games, but you changed your plans and decided to stay for the night games as well.
The smart and responsible thing to do would have been to keep track of what you have ordered and maybe just put a cap on your spending. But you didn’t, you forget what number beer you were on and all you know is that you drank enough to know you shouldn’t drive home.
You sit their waiting in panic on how much you spent and hoping you have enough money to pay for the bill. The last thing you want to do is put the afternoon on your credit card because you have actually been responsible with it lately.
Also, the worst part about the bill is the fun is over. You can try for a night-cap but odds are you are probably going to head home and sit on your couch and watch the late night Pac 12 game or a Bruce Willis Movie.
When you get the actual bill you are reminded why this is the first time you put pants on, on a Saturday in months. Regardless of how much you make for a living odds are you are going to be disappointed in yourself on how much you spent on the afternoon.