Biggest Sports Bar Pet Peeves

Arizona Sports own Bickley and Marotta tweeted out a question that really gets the juices flowing.

I am sure all sports fans can answer this question because there are many things about a sports bar that can turn a nice Saturday afternoon with your friends into just a terrible time.

Here are some of my pet peeves when I go to watch a game at a sports bar.

1. Waiting For Your Drink

It’s Saturday, it has also been the first time you have put pants on for a Saturday afternoon in months.  You and your friends decide you are going to meet up and go to your local sports bar and watch the game together.  You are all excited, you have your favorite shirt on and maybe you and your friends haven’t hung out in a few weeks.

You get to the bar about 30-45 minutes prior to the start of the game.  When you go to watch a game at a sports bar you need to give yourself time to get settled in.  You don’t want to be rushing in right at kick off and scramble for a table while the game is going on.

So you get there with plenty of time to spare, and lets not forget this big factor.  It is Saturday, and Saturdays are for the boys so you NEED that first beer.  That first beer is the equivalent of a football player buckling his chin strap before he heads on to the field.  Just like how that player doesn’t know how these next three hours are going to go, you don’t know as well but you know you need that beer to find out.

One problem, the waitress or waiter (its 2017 let’s be equal here) is taking their sweet time getting your drink order.  It’s not hard you are serving a table with 4-6 guys, odds are they are going to be ordering Coors Light anyway.  It’s not like you are waiting on a table with sorority chicks that want their gluten-free strawberry daiquiri, sugar-free margaritas, and vodka sodas with 2 ice cubes but with half a lime and half a lemon.  Oh and while they are taking this order 2 girls can’t decide what they want.  My point is, it isn’t hard!

We came to your establishment early for a reason, we wanted to get our drink and food orders in and now it is kick off and our table is empty.  It is too late to go to another bar because the game is about to start.

It’s a sports bar, sport and alcohol go together like peanut butter and jelly.  This is America guys just want their alcohol.

2. Bartender Doesn’t know the Channel

Listen, you work at a sports bar.  A SPORTS bar!  It should be a requirement that you know the channels by heart, you should know what game is on what channel.  If I roll in on a Thursday in February and I ask to turn it on the NBA game don’t turn the TV on CBS!  Everyone knows that on Thursday TNT has the game of the week.

If I ask to turn on the game and I say it’s on ABC don’t ask me what channel its on.  You work here and you should know the cable channels.  As a fan I am going through a lot at this moment.  I am worried about how my team’s Defense is going to hold up, how my fantasy lineup will do this week, or how I am going to pay my bills if my team doesn’t cover, the last thing I need to worry about is trying to help you find ABC.

To work at a sports bar you should have to take a test about the TV channels. In my opinion you should know which games are on which channels to begin with, but some would say those are unreasonable expectations.

Same scenario as above, you give yourself plenty of time to get settled in so you can see kickoff and now the bartender doesn’t know the channel.  Instead of watching your team go down and score for a crucial opening drive touchdown, you are now channel surfing with the hot bartender who recently became a lot less attractive.

3.Obnoxious Fans

I have been on the side of obnoxious fans at sports bar and I regret it everyday.  It is a burden I will have to live with for the rest of my life and it is something I don’t think I will truly get over.  Everyone hates the obnoxious fan.

Yeah, get up and cheer when your team scores or makes a great play, maybe even high-five the guy next to you.  I am not here to say you can’t have a good time, I want you to have a good time because that is the whole point of going to the bar.

The problem is there is always one guy who wants to be a jack ass.  He wants to cheer after every play, yell at the TV because of a bad call, he takes harmless trash talking to a whole other level, and he may even try to fight you.

One guy at a bar can ruin your whole afternoon, all you wanted to do was go and sling a few back with your friends and now you got this jackass trying to talk non stop shit to you because you are wearing a different colored t-shirt than he is.

Don’t be that guy, just chill and just because you see a Browns fan doesn’t mean you have to make the same old original joke you heard in elementary school.  Because, odds are he has probably heard it before.

4. Stupid Fans

Maybe it is just me, but I can not stand sitting next to someone who just has no idea what he is talking about.

Sitting near the guy who thinks he is smarter than the coach, or the guy spitting out stupid hot takes faster than Skip Bayless can put a damper on your afternoon.

I once sat near a guy for a Browns game at Buffalo Wild Wings, and he would not stop saying how the Browns need to put Johnny Manziel in.

The Browns at the time were in playoff contention, but started being the Browns again at the end of the season.  It was a game against Buffalo and the Browns looked terrible and Brian Hoyers magic had run out.

Well this jackass thought that Johnny Manziel was going to lead us into the playoffs and he was yelling at the TV to put Johnny in.  His girlfriend was so embarrassed and she should be, it must suck to have a boyfriend so fucking stupid to think that jackass could lead the Browns to the playoffs.

Anyways, for the first time in my life I didn’t want the Browns to score and I wanted that fucking idiot to look like a fucking idiot.  Of course the Browns go right down and score and makes this guy look like a genius.

My point is fuck that guy and fuck the idiot at the bar who thinks he is smarter than the coach.  Remember, while you are slinging back Bud Lights for the fifth day in a row that guy actually sees the team play everyday.

5. Paying the Bill

This is the worst, because your original plan was to only stay for the afternoon games, but you changed your plans and decided to stay for the night games as well.

The smart and responsible thing to do would have been to keep track of what you have ordered and maybe just put a cap on your spending.  But you didn’t, you forget what number beer you were on and all you know is that you drank enough to know you shouldn’t drive home.

You sit their waiting in panic on how much you spent and hoping you have enough money to pay for the bill.  The last thing you want to do is put the afternoon on your credit card because you have actually been responsible with it lately.

Also, the worst part about the bill is the fun is over.  You can try for a night-cap but odds are you are probably going to head home and sit on your couch and watch the late night Pac 12 game or a Bruce Willis Movie.

When you get the actual bill you are reminded why this is the first time you put pants on, on a Saturday in months.  Regardless of how much you make for a living odds are you are going to be disappointed in yourself on how much you spent on the afternoon.

 

DBACKS VS MARICOPA COUNTY

For the past year almost year and a half the Arizona Diamondbacks and Maricopa County have been battling over who should pay for the damages that Chase Field has suffered over the years.

Dating back to last spring the Diamondbacks were told that Chase field required $187 million in repairs in an inspection that Maricopa County itself put on.  The Diamondbacks refused to pay for the repairs and are even attempting to sue the County over who pays for the repairs.

Well things have gotten so out of hand that Major League Baseball has gotten involved.  Per Rebekah L. Sanders of the Arizona Republic. The MLB has threatened to move the team from Phoenix.

Major League Baseball officials are so alarmed by recent equipment breakdowns at Chase Field that they might require the Arizona Diamondbacks to leave Phoenix unless the county government pays for millions of dollars in stadium repairs, an attorney for the team warned Tuesday.

It’s the first time the team has indicated that MLB is directly involved in the dispute, ramping up pressure in its long-running lawsuit against Maricopa County.

This is in response to the recent pipe burst in multiple suits and conference rooms at Chase Field.  Sanders goes on to explain the pipe burst incident.

Beus cited two incidents in June: a sanitation pipe that burst in an office, and an air-conditioning system that failed after a downtown-wide power surge.

The air-conditioning pipes flooded suites, restaurants, an office and a gym hours before a game, drawing complaints from fans who got wet or had to sit in warm indoor temperatures, he said.

Because of the breakdowns, MLB engineers will visit in a few days to evaluate Chase Field, Beus said.

League spokesman Matt Bourne declined comment on Beus’ claims.

However, Cameron Artigue, a private attorney representing Maricopa County, called the Diamondbacks argument a red herring.

“This (lawsuit) has nothing to do with the water leaks and the merits of Chase Field,” he said. “The Diamondbacks are the facility manager. When a pipe breaks, that is a Diamondbacks problem. And that is, in fact, what happened. They got out the mops and they mopped it up, and life goes on. It’s a big facility and sometimes pipes break. So what?”

County spokesman Fields Moseley said the team is publicizing the incidents “to try to bolster the point that, ‘Oh we’re horrible landlords.’ “

Moseley pointed to contracts outlining the team’s responsibility for the chiller system and questioned why Diamondbacks officials did not notify the county about the flooding, bring the issue up at a facilities meeting, or request payment for repairs if the team believes the county is on the hook.

Before we go on I love how the private attorney for Maricopa County tries to downplay the pipes breaking and flooding the suite.  Could you imagine if you were a season ticket holder and you go to a suite and it was flooded and someone said: “So what its just a pipe burst and a little water no one is going to die here.”  That has to be an all time downplay of a shitty situation.

To end the article Sanders explains how the court situation could go between the two sides.

Tuesday’s court hearing was supposed to determine whether the team’s grievances would be decided in court or through arbitration, which typically is a faster and less expensive process to resolve disputes.

If the Diamondbacks and county go to arbitration, the main sticking point is timing.

Grady Gammage Jr., also representing the county, said depositions could take months, leading to a start date for arbitration in February or beyond.

That’s too long for the Diamondbacks and MLB to wait, Beus argued.

Should the parties go to arbitration, another question is whether it will be private, as is usual, or open to the public, since it is a matter of taxpayer concern.

The Diamondbacks are “crystal clear” about wanting to conduct the negotiations in the open, Beus said.

“The owner of the Diamondbacks (Ken Kendrick) wants the public to have access to everything. That’s been an important piece of all of our negotiations,” he told The Arizona Republic.

The county has not yet fully committed to the idea.

“We have no objection to transparency,” Gammage said, but “frankly, that will slow it down” because attorneys won’t be as open with each other if news reporters are listening.

Even if the proceedings are private, he said, the county Board of Supervisors will not be able to sign a deal with the team without discussing it at a public meeting.

Superior Court Judge Karen Mullins said she would decide within two weeks whether to hold a trial or send the case to arbitration.

This whole situation is a mess but I am 100% on the Diamondbacks side in this situation.  Normally I hate it when teams make the fans pay for stadiums, I think its dumb to make fans pay for a stadium that they do not have easy access to.  It is dumb that the peoples tax dollars go to build a stadium that you have to pay $40 for a ticket, $20 to park, $7 for a hot dog, and $10 for a beer.  Especially here in Arizona where the schools and highways are shit.

Arizona is growing at a rapid rate and I am all for not putting our money into stadiums that billionaires can pay for.  We need better schools, better highways, and better public transportation.

I am on the Diamondbacks side because Maricopa County owns the stadium!  When Kenny Chesney plays at Chase field the County gets the profit.  Maricopa County is the reason you can’t drink on the plaza.  Maricopa County should have to pay for the repairs.

This is a tenant vs landlord battle.  When you rent a home or an apartment and your AC goes out, or your plumbing breaks, you call your landlord and they send out a guy to fix it and no money comes out of your pocket.

If Maricopa County can not pay for these repairs or flat out doesn’t want to thats fine.  They should sell the stadium to the team or a group of investors who can.

The Bachelorette Ep 1.

This site is mostly for sports and it will be but I am guilty for loving the Bachelorette.  I think it is one of the more pathetic things in this world.  I love how 20 some odd people from the opposite sex fight over one person, in this case it is 20 some odd dudes going after one girl.  What could possibly go wrong? For those of you who are in successful long term relationships and for those who are married know the key to dating is sharing a girl with other guys who you happen to live with.  We all know it is totally ok to go on maybe a few dates with a girl and some of them are with a few other guys and while you are awkwardly sipping on your vodka soda she is making out with some dude who is an aspiring gymnast who is also somehow studying to be a lawyer.

Oh and after those few dates of her making out with almost every guy on the show and sleeping with a few of them you get on one knee to ask for her hand in marriage.  This is a total key for success, just ask any member of the military who just graduated boot camp and he will totally agree with you on this statement.

The first episode is probably my favorite episode because you get to watch guys go to end of the earth to impress a girl and most of them fall flat on there face.  So buckle your seat belts while I break down the first episode.

This episode was a god damn rollar coaster.  You had a guy with a doll, marching band, a guy with a vacuum, and some guy who rides or dies with his catch phrase.  So much went on this episode I am just going to highlight some things that caught my eye

BRYAN- First Kiss, Rose, and the guy she tells you not to worry about

The big event that happens in this episode is people fighting for attention and trying to get the first impression rose which usually ends up being the guy who also gets the first kiss.  Blake came in hot, being a chiropractor from Miami who also speaks fluent Spanish.  Blake is the guy that your girl tells you not to worry about.  Free life hack for all you guys, if your girl comes home from work telling you about a tall, dark guy, who speaks fluent Spanish and also is a chiropractor just pack up your stuff and leave.  Make sure you get everything that is yours back from her, give her stuff back and just let your buddy know you are going to have to stay on his couch for a little bit until you get your shit back together because if you run into this guy odds are you are probably going to lose.  Is it fair? hell no but it is just the way the cookie crumbles.  I have Blake finishing second to Anthony but after tonight I am questioning my decision as I wish I put him as the winner because he is going to be tough to beat.  But to sum it up Blake is the ultimate winner tonight because he got the rose, the first kiss and in a room full of guys that have egos the size of Texas, in which he probably crushed some of there egos.

The Butt-hurt gets real off the bat

It shocks me every time whether it is the Bachelor or the Bachelorette how butt hurt everyone gets.  When you have the first impressions naturally guys are going to do whatever we can to stand out.  Then whenever someone does something crazy hoping to capture, in this case Rachels, eye people get all butt hurt like they forgot they were competing against a house full of dudes for one girl.  Then when Rachel walks in and it is time for cocktail hour guys get extremely butt hurt that they don’t get all the time in the world.  Well no shit dude there is like 30 guys trying to do the same exact thing you are doing.  I also love when the guys get mad at the guy who grabs her first.  That move takes extreme balls, don’t get all pissy because some dude had bigger balls than you.  I understand this is tough to accept and a little awkward at first, shit being out with one of your buddies and you are both trying to talk to the same girl is hard enough, but this is what you signed up for so suck it up.

Fred- poor guy

I actually have this guy getting pretty far in the show.  I have him getting far enough for when he gets eliminated he will have no problems finding a girl to help him get over Rachel.  But, this guy I kinda actually feel for, in my opinion this guy has no chance because Rachel sees him as just this piece of shit third grader.  No guy wants to be remembered as the piece of shit kid he once was in third grade.  Although, Fred probably should have gone a different route than pulling out his old elementary school year book as his way of making a first impression.  Think about the effort he must have gone through to find that year book.  My guess is, it was probably at his moms house and he dug it out of some box in the garage and figured this would be some cute way to break the ice.  Instead, she probably thought a multitude of things like why does he still have that year book, I looked terrible in eighth grade, those braces were not a good look, and I fucking hated you back then because you wouldn’t eat your carrot sticks.  This guy stands no legit chance of winning, but like I said he will be on long enough to be well known and maybe make some appearances at some clubs around the country and he can find someone to heal his wounds.  So maybe I don’t really feel for this guy.  Actually, fuck this guy

Mohit- Come ready to play

This guy… I don’t know if I feel sorry for the guy or to just rip him to shreds because he did not eat his Wheaties that morning.  You guys may have missed this guy but he may have put on the worst performance in Bachelorette history.  This guy got his first impression when he said hi to her but then was too scared to go and talk to the girl.  I understand being in a room full of guys with “high-end” jobs, overpriced suits can be intimidating, but you signed up for this and you probably had weeks or months to prepare how you were going to attack this situation and you totally fumbled the snap.  This performance was so bad the other guys were trying to help him out.  In an atmosphere where guys are trying to one up each other, some guys felt so bad for the guy they were begging for him to go talk to her.  My favorite stunt Mohit pulled was when Rachel and Bryan were talking after Bryan just won the first impression rose, Mohit akwardly stood in the background and watched like the freshman stalking the cheerleader captain talking to her boyfriend who is also the football team captain.  Then this loser (yes he has done enough to be called a loser) while Rachel and Bryan are making out this guy yells NOOOOOOO!!! like he had a fucking chance.  Mohit, sorry bro you had to come ready to play but instead you couldn’t even make it out of the tunnel for the pre-game warm up.

Lee- The only hope for short guys

As a short guy, I am sick and tired of us being over looked (pun intended).  When Lee walked out of the limo with his guitar and it said he was a singer I immediately hated the guy.  Because, who doesn’t hate the guy that walks around with a guitar?  Then I realized this guy is the only hope for us short people in this world.  If Lee can somehow pull this thing out maybe there can be some trendy short guy phase women go through, like that stupid Dad bod phase, because of this I am going to be rooting hard for Lee because this show is made up of primarily tall guys and I for one am sick of it.  Judging by the previews this guy also causes some drama which I am all for.

Blake K- The Douche?

This guy might have the biggest ego in the world, I had trouble breathing watching this episode because his ego was floating through my computer screen.  This guy starts off the season talking about how good he is in bed, which could play to his benefit, but nothing says “I’m modest” like talking about how good I am in bed.  For the record that was complete sarcasm.  Then this guy shows up with a full blown marching band with him playing the drums like he is Nick Cannon from the movie Drumline.  First off, what a career to claim saying you are an aspiring drummer.  I am half tempted to go on this show and dribble a basketball through my legs and say I am an aspiring basketball player.  Also, anyone find it ironic the guy who shows up with a marching band is also the guy bragging about how good he is at sex?  I wonder where he learned it?  That was an American Pie reference for all you people that haven’t lived yet.  Then Blake is already becoming the guy calling people out for not being there for the right reasons.  I am going to go out on a limb here and say Blake is trying to get his drumming career started up and what better way than to douche it up on a reality TV series.  By the way for the record, for the rest of time Blake is on this show and I mention his name in these blogs this is how I am saying his name while writing.. Fast forward to the 1 minute mark.

Milton- WHY ARE YOU CRYING???

After the last season of the Bachelor I can’t deal with guys crying for no reason.  Nick seemed to cry at least once every episode, he was so bad I have anointed him worst dude EVER!!!!!! Milton after introducing himself, talking to her for a few minutes and watching her talk to 20 something dudes felt the need to cry after not getting a rose.  This is the equivalent to the guy crying when the bar closes because the girl he was buying drinks for left by her self.  This guy is a total bitch and crying after the first episode deserves no other label.  Come on dude.

Lucas- Whaboom guy

This guy is a god damn electric factory!  I love this guy, I love him as much as the blind horse I bet on to win the Kentucky Derby a few weeks ago.  By some off chance this guy wins and I didn’t pick him to win I will never forgive myself.  This guy not only has the balls to show up with a megaphone and obnoxiously use it around a group of tight asses, not only has the balls to show up in a suit where his shirt is a sleeveless whaboom shirt in a room full of guys wearing overpriced suits, this guy walks up to a pretty girl and does this act where he yells whaboom and walks away like life is normal.  I for one fucking love this guy.  You can’t fake this stuff, if you have saying where you are willing to yell it from the mountain tops and you don’t care what people think about you you are as real as it gets.  When he was being called out by Blake for how he was acting and he responded saying “I think we all have a little whaboom in us” I jumped out of my seat like the Browns just scored the game winning touchdown in the Super Bowl.  Ladies, if you want a guy who is willing to go all in on a relationship and is willing to put it all on the line this is your man.  If this guy is willing to go all out for his saying, and to him it isn’t just a saying to him it is clearly a way of life.  I don’t see why he wouldn’t go all in on a relationship.  This guy is a true cinderella story and I for one am hoping on the train and riding it till the end.  Go whaboom guy!

Just so I can put this on paper I have Anthony winning it all, I have no reason he just seems like a guy who could win this thing.  All I hope is we get some drama of guys arguing and acting like they aren’t on a reality TV show where the girl makes out with all the guys in the house.  I want to see some blood shed and I want lots of good laughs and some good material to make fun of Chris Harrison.  I will be writing a blog on every episode so stay tuned, because this is the best Bachelorette coverage you can get.

 

Just Pop Being Pop

Anyone who follows anything NBA knows Spurs Coach Greg Popovich has a knack for blowing off the media whether it is his post game press conference or the sideline reporters.

Pop made news this week for his rant to the media about the “dirty” play Warriors Center Zaza Pachulia made on Kawhi Leonard.

The irony in this interview is Pop defended Bruce Bowen for years who was notorious for his dirty play and everyone in Phoenix remembers the Western Conference Finals when Robert Horry checked Steve Nash into the scorers table.  If I remember correctly Pop was completely fine with the dirty play when it benefitted him.

Tonight, after the Spurs got blown out by 36 points in game 2 against Golden State Pop went off on another rant to the media.

Go to the 3 minute and 10 second mark to see the question and response.

Ok first off, Greg Popovich is one of if not the greatest NBA coach of all time.  I’m not saying he is a bad coach or he should be fired.  Second, I have actually heard Pop is a very nice guy in person, I am not saying he is the worst in the world.

My point is his act is just old and worn out.  I understand the last thing you want to do after a 36 point loss is go and talk to the media.  But at the end of the day it is your job to go and talk to the media after games, TV networks pay 100 of millions of dollars to show these games it isn’t the end of the world for you to answer a few questions.  There is no reason to act like a 12-year-old whose mom told him to take out the trash.

The question wasn’t the greatest but it wasn’t the worst, it also isn’t your job to decide what a good question and what a bad question is, there was no reason to put the guy down who is simply trying to do his job.  I MAY be able to see the response if the media was calling for Pops job everyday and this was the tipping point.  Actually, it is the exact opposite.  The media LOVES Pop!  Anything he says or does the media responds with a “Man Pop is the best!” or “Gotta love Pop” or “HAHAHA ohhh that is just Pop being Pop.”

Pop is the popular guy in high school that has never been told he is not funny because everyone just wants to be on his good side.  Whether it is him blowing off reporters or shoving his political beliefs down our throats.

This act was kinda funny years ago when it started but now it is just old.

 

Frank Fleming: The Hero We Need, but Don’t Deserve

There may be a lot of uncertainty surrounding this country and many are looking for someone or something  for answers.  Well ladies and gentleman that Man has been found. His name is Frank Fleming.

You may remember him from this video from a few weeks ago.

The newest addition to Barstool sports has taken the sports world by storm.  This diehard Mets fan shows what being a true fan takes.  If you are unfamiliar with the story Frank was on his way to Mets Opening Day when a delay with the New Jersey transit system caused him to miss the opening ceremonies and first couple innings of the game.  Frank went on this all time rant to show that Opening Day is not to be messed around with.  Frank has been blogging since 2001 and has been updating everyday since, it has an image of the day, birthdays, standings, scores, it has everything.

You can check out his site here

If you want an idea how awesome Frank is check out the video below and you can see Frank roast A-Rod and all Yankee fans when he hopped on Fox Sports MLB Whiparound.

You can’t fake passion people and the way Frank pounds his chest talking about the Mets is what all you so-called parents should be teaching your kids.  If everyone had Franks passion about the Mets imagine what we could accomplish as a country!

In terms of being a sports fan Frank brings everything to the table.  Why is it wrong to wear your favorite teams shirt almost everyday?  Why is it wrong to be a little delusional about your team?  The typical sports fan today is some ass who reads his fivethirtyeight.com articles and then looks at you wrong when you yell at the tv like you just dropped a baby.  So what if I am yelling about an Indians game in June, maybe you should go type some numbers in a calculator nerd!  Sports fans need to be more like Frank if everyone just wore the passion they have for their teams on their own sleeve think how much more fun this world would be.  You would automatically know who to like and not to like and their would be so many more useless sports arguments.  Sounds like a great time to me.

The problem is we as a country are not using Frank enough.  I firmly believe Frank can solve all the worlds problems.  Frank is a modern-day Batman with Superman powers. Can you imagine Frank the Tank storming into the offices of Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un threatening how like the 86 Mets America is going to take their respective countries by storm!  I would imagine those guys would back down faster than Rick Pitino in a Restaurant.

I personally think Frank needs to run in the next election! #FranktheTank2020

With all the crap going on around the world we don’t deserve Frank but somehow by the grace of God we did.

 

NBA Playoffs- First Round Matchups to Watch

With the semester coming to an end I haven’t been able to write as much this week.  I should be doing more school work but I felt like after not putting anything out all week I should probably write something.

The NBA playoffs is finally upon us.  Saturday marks the debut of one of the most exciting times of the year.  Football ends in February, we just came off the high of March Madness a few weeks ago and now we got the NBA playoffs to grab our attention and make us less productive until June.

I am no basketball guru by any means but there is very few things I love more than the NBA playoffs.  If you have followed the NBA at all this season you have noticed it has been filled with useless drama, whether it’s Lebron sending out cryptic messages, the feud between Carmelo Anthony and Phil Jackson, teams resting players, and the list goes on and on.  Despite all of these dramatic storylines I think we may be in store for a fun couple months.  In this article I will give you one match up from the East and one matchup from the West to watch.  These series are unique in their own ways and I think will be fun and I think everyone will enjoy.

FIRST ROUND SERIES THAT WILL BE FUN TO WATCH

With half the league making the playoffs the first round tends to be watered down.  You tend to have some series that has two teams that will make no impact long-term and is filled with just awful basketball.

Now, I don’t realistically think either of these teams can actually win it all and if you are not the Warriors or the Cavaliers I don’t think anyone can win it all.  I just think these series will be the most fun to watch.

(3) Toronto Raptors vs (6) Milwaukee Bucks

The Milwaukee Bucks have always been an interesting team to me.  I saw Milwaukee play earlier this year in Phoenix and they were so fun to watch, they play hard on both ends of the floor and are so incredibly long (grow up guys).  The Bucks are led by Giannis Antetokounmpo also known as the “Greek Freak” who came off a quiet record-breaking season by becoming the first player in NBA history to finish in the top 20 in total points, rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks.  Also, if you didn’t know he is ‘6-11″ and he is only 22 years old.  In my opinion he is the NBAs best kept secret, and it is going to be fun to finally see him on the big stage.  Even though Toronto is probably the better team, Antetokounmpo has the potential to take over this series and swing it in Milwaukees favor.  If you don’t want to take my word for how good this guy is just check out this video.

Now Giannis is cool and all but the real reason you should watch Milwaukee is to watch the master of all grit.  If you forget who that is then you should first punch yourself in the face, then once you are done with that you should watch this video and remind yourself. #NeverForget #Weareallgritnesses

Now for Toronto, the Raptors are just one year removed from taking the Cavaliers to six games in the Eastern Conference Finals.  Demar Derozen resigned with the team in the offseason and has put up big numbers yet again this year.  Kyle Lowry is healthy again as he came back from a thumb injury, he suffered before the all-star break, a couple of weeks ago.  The Raptors were buyers at the trade deadline, they acquired PJ Tucker from the Suns and Serge Ibaka from the Magic.  You would think the team that took the eventual NBA champions six games and got better from a year ago would be an easy pick to get out of the first round and possibly back to the Eastern Conference Finals.  Well, not really if you remember correctly the Raptors playoff run wasn’t as great as it seemed.  It took them 7 games to get out of the first round against the Pacers, 7 games to get out of the second round against the Heat, and even though they took the Cavs six games they lost the three games in Cleveland by almost an average of 30 points.  Lowry and DeRozen have also been known to struggle in the playoffs, so it could make for an interesting series between these two and don’t forget the Air Canada Center is one of the more hostile places to play in the NBA.

ESPN came out and said that the Raptors have an 83% chance to win the series which is the highest percentage in the East.  I lean towards Toronto in this series but like I said earlier if Antetokounmpo has a huge series who knows what could happen.

(4) L.A. Clippers vs (5) Utah Jazz

People will say the Thunder vs Rockets Series is more intriguing but I have to disagree. As much as I love to watch both Harden and Westbrook play and as much as I love watching Westbrook put up HUGE numbers, I just don’t think the Thunder have enough to make it an exciting series.

Like I said earlier I don’t think any of these teams can make the Finals but there is a lot of intriguing storylines here.

Lets start with the Utah Jazz.  The Jazz also have a severely underrated player in Gordon Hayward.  You guys probably remember Hayward from the guy who barely missed that half court shot for Butler in the National Championship against Duke a few years back. Well, since then Hayward has put up a solid NBA career and has helped lead the Utah Jazz back to the NBA playoffs since the 2011-2012 season.  This guy is also just full of grit and who doesn’t love grit?  The only answer is Hitler.

Here below is some plays from Hayward to give you an idea for how good he is and how good-looking he is (Don’t let your jaws drop too far ladies).

Not only do the Jazz have Hayward but they also have Rudy Gobert who is an absolute freak.  Gobert finished the regular season with the highest Real Plus-Minus for all centers in the NBA.  If you don’t know what that means it is a stat that calculates points for and against.  He finished with an RPM of 6.71 and the closest Center behind him was DeAndre Jordan with an RPM of 4.67.  If you don’t watch basketball just know that he is really good.

Here is a collection of highlights from Rudy Gobert with a song that I’m not sure I like or really hate.

These two could give the Clippers some trouble and could push this series deep and may be able to pull off the upset.  The Gobert vs Jordan matchup could be really fun to watch.

Now onto the Clippers.  You look at the Clippers roster and you think this team should be fighting the Warriors for a trip to the NBA Finals.  Well not quite, the Clippers under Doc Rivers are more known for their playoff disappointments over the past few years than what they would prefer.  Last year the Clippers had a tough break when Chris Paul and Blake Griffin went down with injuries and most remember when they blew a 3-1 lead in the second round against the Rockets the year prior.

This is a big postseason for the Clippers because the dreams of Blake Griffin and Chris Paul leading them to the NBA Finals haven’t come true.  They haven’t even gotten past the second round yet.  Blake Griffin is up for new contract this offseason and Chris Paul up for one the year after, this postseason could help make a huge decision the Clippers are faced with for the years coming.  If the Clippers make a run to the Western Conference Finals or at least challenge the Warriors in the second round, which at their best I think they could steal a couple of games, the decision could be easy and resign Griffin and make a run at it next year.  Or if they get beat in the first round for the second year in a row they could decide to save their money and move on Griffin.

Just by the thought of not seeing them on the floor any more I had to go look at highlights of those two together.  Take a look and think of all the fun we have had watching them.

If you want to be the Debbie downer and tell me that these series don’t matter so you aren’t going to watch than fine be that guy.  Us sports nerds will sit back and enjoy the playoffs and all the fun that comes with it.  Even though I am 99% positive that it will be a finals rematch I still think these playoffs will be fun to watch, their are intriguing matchups all over and plenty of really good players you don’t normally get to see on the national stage.  These are just two matchups that will be fun to watch and no one is talking about.  I will be watching and writing about the playoffs for the next few months so stay tuned.

GO CAVS #zerodarkthirty-23.

Anyone ever tell Lebron the zero dark thirty-23 saying really makes no sense?  I mean he said it last year and we won so I am going to run with it, but the more I think about it the more I realize it makes zero sense.

#WEAREALLGRITNESSES

Dustin Johnsons Terrible Excuse

Ladies and Gentleman, if you haven’t noticed it’s Masters weekend.  It is the weekend when people who do not know a single thing about golf tune like we actually care.  Why do we watch the Masters?  Because it’s a tradition unlike any other obviously.

Leading up to the Masters I normally spend the week leading up trying to read stories on some golfers so I don’t sound like a complete idiot when talking to someone about it.  This year I don’t have to talk about just golf.  This year everyone gets to talk about not only golf but how the world’s top golfer “fell down the stairs” and now can’t play in the Masters.

Dustin Johnson pulled out of the Masters yesterday because he hurt his back a few nights ago.  His reasoning is because he slipped down the stairs and fell on his back.  This is just absolute gold!  It is gold because it is total bull shit.  The old fall down the stairs excuse is the oldest one in the book.  First off no one just “falls down” the stairs past the age 12. Once you get past 12  you start falling down the stairs at the age you start drinking heavily.

My guess is Johnson had WAAAY too much to drink, which is fine but when you do something incredibly dumb while drinking you have to think of a better excuse then “I fell down the stairs.”  Although, it is better than saying you fell up the stairs.

These golfers get these high price agents or advisors to get them these high-end endorsement deals and what not and not one person could think of a better excuse?  To all athletes out there I offer myself for a low price to be part of your posse and when you do something dumb I will think of a much better excuse than “you fell down the stairs.”

My excuse would have been.  During Dustins practice round he tweaked something in his back, he seemed fine walking off the course but later on in the night he started experiencing some uncomfortable pain.  BOOM! that sounds much better.  I’m here to help YOU Dustin.

The question is.  What really happened?

Do we have another Tiger Woods situation?  Was he caught with another women and then he got his ass beat?

Did he get in a WWE like wrestling match with someone much bigger than him?

Or maybe was he just so wasted he couldn’t walk and he legitimately fell down the stairs.

I’m sure one day we will find out what really happened, but regardless of what really happened we need to get past the days of bad excuses.  We need to strive to do better.

WE MUST MAKE EXCUSES BELIEVABLE AGAIN!

 

 

EXPLOITED

It is a very loud and well-known opinion that the NCAA exploits its athletes.  The NCAA is a company that is worth billions of dollars where only people who  wear expensive suits and ties everyday benefit from the athletes giving it all on the field.  Despite receiving a college scholarship for ones athletic abilities many people think the NCAA should pay student athletes for their performance on the field.

One day I will write a blog on my opinion of the matter but not today.  Today I tell you how I, the fan, was exploited at the Final Four this weekend in Phoenix.

Last minute my friends and I decided we were going to do what we can to get tickets and go to the Final Four.  Even though I had no dog in the fight this weekend, the Final Four is something I’ve always wanted to attend.  With it being in my backyard I figure might as well try.

Saturday started off great, had a nice breakfast with the boys and of course started the day off with a few beers.  We pulled up and paid for parking of course and sat and tailgated and shared a few drinks with people who traveled all the way from Greenville, South Carolina to see their team play.

As game time got closer my friends and I finished our beers and headed into the stadium where we thought one of the best days of our lives was ahead of us.  What honestly can beat a day sharing beers with your friends at the Final Four?  In my opinion almost nothing.

We walked into the stadium with smiles as big as a kid in a candy store.  Those smiles quickly turned to frowns as we were struck with the worst news no man likes to hear.  It wasn’t that your wife cheated on you, you lost your job, or even that your new girlfriend is pregnant.  It was even worse.

NO BEER!!

Little did we know, the NCAA doesn’t serve beer at the Final Four.  Not just the Final Four but at any NCAA postseason basketball events.

I’ve attended multiple Fiesta Bowls played in that exact same stadium and they served beer and liquor.  For whatever reason they want to punish basketball fans and not serve either.

For those who don’t know how the Final Four works they have two games on Saturday and the National Title game on Monday.  Also they do not let people leave and come back in, that also includes in-between game one and game two.

So there we sat for seven hours watching basketball with no beer.  Along with probably 50,000 of the 75,000 who attended whose hearts were crushed.

It makes zero sense why they wouldn’t sell beer.  Not having beer kind of ruined the atmosphere of the day.  People started the day sharing beers all day with people from all around the country and walked into the stadium for the first game and were into the game standing and cheering no matter what team you wanted.  By the time the second game rolled around everyone had crashed and the atmosphere was totally flat.  If beer was sold the crowd would have been more rowdy as oppose to trying to find water.  The stadium ran out of water as well.

It also makes zero sense financially, you are already charging an arm and leg to go to a basketball game played inside a football stadium.  Charging out the ass to park and also because of the event, hotel and plane tickets have sky rocketed.  Why not just throw the fans a bone and give us the option of paying an arm and a leg for beer.

Lets do the math on how much money the NCAA lost by not serving beer.  I’m willing to bet at least 50,000 people were wanting at least one beer and many people like myself would have bought a lot more.  Lets set the number at 50,000 people and two beers per game, so four beers at $10 total a piece after both games.  That comes out to $2 million the NCAA lost.  I am not very good at math but think about it $2 million at least.

For the record I had a great time at the Final Four.  I would do it over again in a heartbeat.  Next time I would just stuff my socks and waistline with minis.

I am totally scared by this whole experience.  For the rest of my life when I go to a sporting event I’m going to be nervous that they wont serve beer.  I went to the Diamondbacks Opening Day on Sunday and I wanted to call and make sure this tragedy wouldn’t happen again.

It is 2017 and we are still depriving people by not letting people drink at a sporting event.  How they allow it in one sport and not the other is mind-boggling.  So please people, if you go to a Final Four stuff your clothing with minis and don’t go through the hardship that my friends and I had to endure.  Stay Woke

 

Will the real Will Tyrrell please stand up?

So the first thing you see on this site is a boring “professional” introduction of myself.  Here is what you really know about me; I am a stunningly, dark, short and handsome ladies man who is a full of sarcasm.  One thing you will need to know when reading this blog is it will be FULL of sarcasm, so don’t take things too literally when reading this.  This site will be mostly about sports, making fun of stupid people, and mocking people who take themselves WAY too seriously.  I am not really from anywhere specific, unfortunately I was born outside of Los Angeles, California and thankfully my father saved me from eventually becoming a liberal snowflake and moved me all over Gods Country.  When I was four I began a series of lifelong moves that have affected my sports fandom.  Instead boring you and giving you the stories of how and when I moved I will just list off the states; Iowa, Nebraska, Illinois, and Missouri.  Like it said in my boring intro I was in the United States Marines Corps for four years where I was stationed in Satins country, also known as 29 Palms California.  In 2015 I got out of the Marines and moved to my current status of living in Tempe, Arizona.  I spent one year as Fighting Artichoke at Scottsdale Community College and I am now at Arizona State striving to run my mouth about sports and other subjects people like to get all excited about.  I grew up living and dying with the success of Cleveland sports(so for the most part dying with Cleveland sports).  I have Chief Wahoo tattooed on my shoulder, I don’t care if it offends you I actually kind of hope it does, going into every fall no matter how awful the Browns are I still convince myself that they are going to go at least .500, and I am convinced the Cavs winning the title last year is truly the peak in my life and nothing will ever top that.  Cleveland sports runs through my veins, at one point in my life I had a savings account until I blew it on going to Cleveland last year for Game 6 of the NBA Finals and eventually watching  the Cavs win the cities first championship since 1964 at some bar in Downtown Cleveland.  Even though I go to Arizona State it is hard to just drop my love for Ohio State football and basketball.  For most of my life Cleveland sports were just awful and the only way I didn’t completely lose my sanity and give up on the world was Saturday afternoons in the Fall when Jim Tressel bullied the BIG Ten or when Thad Matta would lead Ohio State on a run in March.  For the most part this blog will be mostly on Cleveland sports, but I know not everyone cares about Ohio sports so I will do my best to write about other teams to keep everyone interested.  I will mostly be blogging mixed in with podcasts.  If you didn’t notice there are some videos and info graphics on here, those are for one of my classes I am taking right now.  I will not be doing much of those because I have the creative mind of a straw and they are just awful.  I am on twitter @wltyrrell2 and you can email me at wltyrrell10@gmail.com.  I hope everyone will enjoy and I am open to interacting with people to make this site better.